My inner voice guided me, tormented me, berated me, and sometimes even complimented me. Maybe it knew something I didn’t. Maybe it was breaking me down so I could withstand more heartache and pain. Maybe it knew that at my age I would be re-evaluating my life. Where had I gone wrong? I LIVED Robert Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken”. I prided myself on “taking the one less traveled by -” and now I see, it did NOT make all the difference. I ended up exactly where I never wanted to be.
In reality that road I traveled was well-traveled by others. The footprints were muddled because many were trudging along. I did not take the time to stop and listen and look around me. That makes me a follower. I’m not a follower! I don’t like conformity. I don’t like being told what to do. Yet, I travel the same road, taking no detours, and end up at the same destination. Yes, I am doing this consciously and willfully. Yet, I know it’s wrong; deep down I know it’s so wrong.
Mr. Frost, will I encounter another fork in the road? Will I be given a chance to choose another one? I should have followed my dream. I should have listened to the one person who had faith in me; she believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself.
Each day I’m peeling a layer of skin away; shredding it to pieces and a new skin is growing. It grows thicker and tougher; one that can’t be poked or proded. It’s not too late for me Mr. Frost! I think I can do this.