The road not taken was the wrong one. Turn around and go home!

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Avicii said it best, “I feel like I’m trapped in somebody else’s master plan:  go to school, get a job, get a mortgage and all I’m really doing is dying.”

My inner voice guided me, tormented me, berated me, and sometimes even complimented me.  Maybe it knew something I didn’t.  Maybe it was breaking me down so I could withstand more heartache and pain.  Maybe it knew that at my age I would be re-evaluating my life.  Where had I gone wrong?  I LIVED Robert Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken”.  I prided myself on “taking the one less traveled by -” and now I see, it did NOT make all the difference.  I ended up exactly where I never wanted to be. 

In reality that road I traveled was well-traveled by others.  The footprints were muddled because many were trudging along. I did not take the time to stop and listen and look around me. That makes me a follower.  I’m not a follower! I don’t like conformity.  I don’t like being told what to do. Yet, I travel the same road, taking no detours, and end up at the same destination.   Yes, I am doing this consciously and willfully. Yet, I know it’s wrong; deep down I know it’s so wrong. 

Mr. Frost, will I encounter another fork in the road?  Will I be given a chance to choose another one?   I should have followed my dream.  I should have listened to the one person who had faith in me; she believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself.

Each day I’m peeling a layer of skin away; shredding it to pieces and a new skin is growing. It grows thicker and tougher; one that can’t be poked or proded. It’s not too late for me Mr. Frost! I think I can do this.

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